


The Other One

by DarkTinkerBellisDark



Category: Schneewittchen | Snow White (Fairy Tale)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 14:27:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15293511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkTinkerBellisDark/pseuds/DarkTinkerBellisDark
Summary: Who am I?I didn’t exactly have my own body, I have been stuck with this girl from day one, I saw all the bad things the girl went through, I put up with all the hits the girl got, I share the same hatred for the girl’s father, the same thoughts;it was as if... I was the girl.





	The Other One

_I was always there, angry, helpless, not being able to do anything. I was there through all the hits and struggle the girl had. Watching, only watching. Not doing anything, because I couldn’t. I couldn’t move; I was paralyzed. Boiled in rage and my heart filled with hatred as the girl cries out in pain and begging for her father to stop._

_Until that one day._

_The girl’s father decided to take it further. It was at that moment, I was absolutely disgusted and raged by the act of someone who was supposed to care for his daughter. Cries and mourns of the girl was heard all over the room, but the so-called father of the child didn’t care. I wanted so badly to hurt him, and a few seconds later the so-called father was bleeding. He fell on the floor with a bloody face. I looked at my hand which was now knuckled up and bleeding. I reached for my hair slowly before pulling it. It hurt, and I felt it. I was there like always but this time, I could move, I could hurt the man lying on the ground. I was out._

_I was alive. How it happened, I had no idea. My senses were alive, I could smell the house reeked in alcohol, and I could feel the scars making my skin rough. But I wasn’t completely alive; I would gain control and punch the monstrous father, after that was complete darkness, then next thing I knew, I was on my bed. Knees pushed to my chest, with my hands enveloping them. I tried to get up, only to realize I was tied. I kicked and pulled, but no avail. I gradually gave up and not long after, the door opened. The man who calls himself a father spat at me, asking what made me think I could fight back. I didn’t flinch, nor did I answer. I held my eye contact with the man, making sure he got the message that I was not afraid._

 

\---------------

 

I didn’t know what was happening to me. I would wake up in my room and the last thing I remembered was my father’s hits. Sometimes, I would black out in the middle of the punches and see my father’s stunned stare as I opened my eyes. Other times, my hands would mysteriously be covered in blood; the same time my father’s face would be covered in blood as he spent the whole day avoiding me.

The hitting’s gradually reduced when I was thirteen. My father treated me as if I was air, so I did the same. We learned a new way of dealing with each other without harming one another. For the time being, it was good. As long as my bruises were slowly healing without getting another one, as long as my father wasn’t hitting me. It was okay, even if I felt so lost and lifeless inside. Even if I didn’t know who I was anymore inside.

 

\---------------

_At fourteen, chaos happened. At fourteen, I discovered who I truly was._

_Children were crying, as the houses were burning. The attacker was pulling the girl, jabbing her, making sexist remark while he was at it. I felt the girl’s heart filled with anger, as mine did the same._

_The girl called me. I_ felt  _it. I_ heard  _the desperate call for me to help. I didn’t know exactly if the girl knew I was there, but I could feel the girl slipping into unconsciousness, letting me gain control._

 _It happened so quickly, I didn’t know how. Flames erupted from my hands, and I burned all the attackers._ _I knew something was wrong with me. I liked it; I liked feeling the power and the adrenaline. It was exciting, satisfying. When I knew, I shouldn’t feel that about killing. I saw the fear in the children’s eyes. It shook me. What I did was to protect them; yet they were scared. So was I. I didn’t know what came over me; this wasn’t me. The girl inside me stirred, and I didn’t fight and let the girl back in control of her body._

_But as soon as I did, I found myself in a black room. I tried to stand but the little stunt drained me. I reached out my hand, trying to find something to grip on, but there was nothing. It was hard, I was wobbly and unbalanced, until finally I succeed in holding myself up. I stepped, one foot at a time. It wasn’t easy, it was as if stepping on quicksand. I walked and walked, but it was just endless road of blackness. It wasn’t even a room; there were no walls. I was gradually giving up, until I heard a sniffle. I walked again, trying to find the source of that sound. I did. It was the girl I fought to protect for all these years._

_The girl had her face buried between her legs. I tried calling the girl, but I couldn’t find my voice. I stepped closer until the girl noticed my presence and lifted her head up. The girl’s eyes were heavy and tired, but I could see a glint of hope in it. She stared into my eyes, and so did I. But no one made a move. I finally tried calling again, but the girl stayed still, not answering, only staring at me emotionless. I reached out for the girl, and she did the same. Our hands touched and it felt cold, lifeless. I moved my hand to touch the girl's face, but the girl also moved to touch her face. Split second, we weren’t surrounded by darkness anymore; we were back at the village surrounded by the dead bodies. I jumped back a little and stared wide-eyed at my surroundings_

_“Who_ are  _you?” The girl was staring at me, her voice was hoarse, and she was shivering._

_Who am I? To be honest, I didn’t know. I didn’t exactly have my own body; I have been stuck with this girl from day 1. I saw all the bad things the girl went through because of that monstrous father, I put up with all the hits the girl got, I share the same hatred for the girl’s father, the same thoughts; it was as if..._

_Realization finally hit me._

_I was the girl._

 

\---------------

 

I woke up with a start. It was seven years ago, yet that memory played over and over again. It was like a dream yet so vivid. It was like looking into a mirror, yet seeing a completely different person. I remembered those daring and intimidating eyes that felt as if it burned through my soul, that wasn’t mine. That person had a confident aura, I didn’t. That person fought back when I couldn’t. That person helped me every call I make.

Raven, I decided. I gave a name to that person; that person I decided was my protector. That person I dreamed since I was a child, to protect me from all the hits and punches. She’s alive, and she’s inside of me.

The sun peeked in my bedroom window. I got off the bed. The coldness of the floor welcomed me. I walked slowly to the bathroom, the morning headache was worse than usual. I washed my face, suddenly every memory played trough my mind.

Moving on to another village. Working in a pub, dealing with those disgusting men. Meeting someone I thought would care for me, _the king_.

I remember him proposing; I remember the happiness I felt. I remember moving to the castle. Everything was so perfect, until I found out what he did all those years ago. The attackers, they were his. They were his guards. And my village wasn’t the only attack he planed.

From the first time I met him, Raven warned me; she knew something was off. I should’ve believed her from the start, but I was clouded with love.

Love. The thought used to give me warmth, something I’ve always dreamed of. Now it just makes me angry. Love, I realized, was nothing more than a lie. A lie to make people weak and gullible, make them shatter down their walls, before shattering their heart. I confronted him and he has the guts to lie to my face. I remember Raven burning with anger; I held her back, until I got tired. Why should I protect a liar? Why should I protect someone who destroyed people’s homes? Why shouldn’t I get revenge? I let Raven out, and the next day, the king lay lifeless.

I remember his daughter’s expression. Snow White. From the first time I met her, she was kind, and gentle. She accepted me in with open arms and helped me feel like at home. Beautiful. Everything I wasn’t when I was her age. But she had her father’s eyes. She stared at me, her gaze struck into me and called me a monster. _A monster_. I was _not_ the monster. It was my father. It was Snow’s father. It was those drunken men in the pub. It was all those people, who looked down on others, taking advantage of them. They were the monsters.

I remember calling a huntsman… wait, a huntsman? I didn’t-

At that moment, I had an epiphany. Raven. She did it. I cocked my head upwards and stared at the mirror. My tired gaze met her piercing ones. I got used to this. Raven would take over, and when I woke, she would still be there.

“What did you do?”

I realized my voice was hoarse, and I was shivering. Just like when I first met her. The corner of her lips curled into a smirk, sending chills down my spine. As an answer, I heard a call from outside, “My queen!”

In a rush, I dried off my face and Raven was gone. I got out and there stood a man, with his hands out. It took me a while to realize what he was holding

“My queen,” he said, “I did what you asked for”

“W-what did I ask exactly?” I hesitate to ask

“Her heart”

My breath hitched, and I stared at him

“My queen?” he called

My feet lost energy making me stumble back. I would’ve fallen on the floor if the huntsman didn’t rush to support me.

Memories started flashing through my mind. Memories that weren’t even mine.

“Get out” I croaked

“What?”

“Get out!”

The huntsman did exactly that, and as soon as the door went shut, I broke down and in a split second I found myself standing in the black room across Raven

“Why?” I asked.

“She has her father’s eyes”

Raven was standing up straight; her gaze was strong as always. For a second I forgot what she just did and wished I could be just like her. Confident. Unwavering. But I felt a sudden lump in my throat, as I felt tears dripping on my cheeks. I suddenly remembered how Snow would run around the garden singing, how she would make snow angels in winter. Snow didn’t deserve to die; she was still so young, a whole life ahead of her.

“I just want you to be safe”

I started shouting at her. How could she kill a little girl? Raven stood her ground. Her jaw tightens as she stares at me. She hissed, telling me to stop crying, telling me how I lookedweak. I wasweak. I wasn’t like her. I couldn’t protect myself, so I called her.I couldn’t fight back, so I called her.I didn’t have the guts to take revenge, so I called her. I wanted to hate her, to keep shouting at her, but I couldn’t. She protected me all my life. Who to say that without that person, I would still be breathing now? What she did was for me. Whether right or wrong, she knew better. I shouldn’t be complaining. I shouldn’t be questioning.

I was back and the huntsman was back in front of me. I glared at him, I told him to go away, but what he said paralyzed me

“You didn’t ask me,” he said, “It was _her_ , wasn’t it? The other one?”

 

\---------------

_When the girl met the king, she had been so happy. I would see her smile see t_ _h_ _rough the mirror. The girl slept early every night, wishing the morning would come faster, and when it did, she would meet him. When she became queen and moved to a castle, I felt lonely. It had been a long time since the girl called me. Since the girl needed me. The girl was happy, she started to enjoy life; I didn’t want to disappear. I started to despise the king, the source of the girl’s happiness. He made me feel useless. My purpose was to hurt people who hurt her. That purpose that kept me alive._

 _I was sure there was something the king was hiding. No one_ _wa_ _s that perfect. I tried to warn the girl, but she wouldn’t listen. I forced myself to wake up one night. It didn’t feel the same; in her sleep, the girl was fighting. It felt being tied down by an anchor as I walk_ _ed_ _since the girl didn’t call me to come out. I searched the castle; anything that could prove the king_ _wa_ _s not so perfect. Nothing. I had no lead- until he came. Hugh. He asked why the queen was wandering around the castle at this time of night. Of course. He s_ _aw_ _me as the queen. No one_ _could_ _see me. They only s_ _aw_ her _. But as I snapped at him, telling him it was none of his business and for him to go away, his expression morphed. He averted his eyes into mine. I wasn’t sure whom he was seeing but he introduced himself. I didn’t answer; instead I spun around and walked away. He called me, saying he kn_ _e_ _w every inch of the castle if I needed any help, as he’_ _d_ _been here for years. I kept walking when I suddenly s_ _aw_ _the kingdom’s symbol clearly for the first time. A wave of realization washed over me. I asked my suspicions, and Hugh was kind enough to answer._

 _The king did it. He sent those guards and burned down the village._ The girl’s  _village._

 _I tried everything I could_ _,_ _so the girl could discover that. When she did, I couldn’t be more delighted. I watched as she confronted the king, I watched as the king lied_ _for_ _not doing it. I felt the girl hurt and angry, as I felt power. She called. She asked for my help. I was out again. It felt good. I felt hurting wasn’t enough. The king made me feel useless. He made me weak. He made me feel dead. So I killed him._

 _The girl woke up frantic the next day, and again would call me. She needed me again. It felt good. She called me again when that little princess stared into her eyes and called her of being a monster, yelling_ _me to_ _go away. I was outraged. I remembered Hugh saying he was a huntsman. I remember_ _ed_ _Hugh offering his help whenever I needed. I did exactly that._

 _Snow was the king’s daughter. There was no doubt Snow would be the same as him. Snow would hurt the girl, that’s why she had to go. The girl hated me for what I did. I_ _could_ _n’t blame her. She didn’t understand. And somehow, Hugh found out. I saw him talk_ _ing_ _to the girl when he realized I was the one who told him to kill. I forced myself out to talk to him, and he wasn’t surprised_

_“You don’t hate me?”_

_“The king was a devil underneath_ _,_ _”_ _h_ _e said, “You were right”_

_I titled my head to the side “and Snow?”_

_“You’re the queen, I take orders from you”_

 

\---------------

 

Every night, it was hard for me to sleep. How could I? When I practically murdered a family, a royal family, who I already became a part of.

Raven was present. I could feel her more than I used to. She was becoming unstable. I could feel that. I could feel her thirst for power. I could feel her everytime she forced herself out. I tried my best to keep her inside and stay still.

She killed the king, she killed Snow, what more could she want? But I was terrified.

This Raven was not the same. I _kn_ _e_ _w_ she was not the same. Raven used to only come out when I was hurting, but now she comes out whenever she wants.

She- with the help of Hugh the huntsman- took over my job of ruling the kingdom.

At first, she reasoned it was because I probably couldn’t explain myself. She said she would gain the trust of the people first, for me to rule. Then time passed, everytime I was doing my job, she would take over. She ruled by bringing fear and darkness. I felt as if I spent more time unconscious than conscious in my own body. I felt as if I was the other person in this body. I felt myself slipping away. I felt weak. I felt more and more unlike my own person. Hugh knew this. He would look at me in pity everytime I woke up. He would hold me everytime I struggled staying conscious against Raven. He would mutter words to me, telling me to hold on even if Raven’s being difficult.

Hugh.

He’s the only reason why Raven hasn’t completely lost humanity. He could knock some sense into Raven when even I couldn’t. He’s the only one who saw the difference between Raven and myself.

I know when he’s looking into my eyes and when he’s looking at Raven. He saw Raven as a person.

If Raven’s my support, than he’s Raven’s

 

\---------------

_“_ _You’re the queen, I take orders from you”_

 _I kn_ _e_ _w now why Hugh hesitated before answering. Only a few years after, I knew. I should’ve sensed it. Snow_ _wa_ _s alive. And she’s hiding, deep in the woods. Hugh tried to explain_ _,_ _but I stormed out. How could I possibly think I could trust him? The only person you c_ _ould_ _trust to support you,_ _wa_ _s yourself. It angered me to think Snow white was out there, thinking she’s save. She’s not._

 _I fe_ _lt_ _the girl inside, trying to stop me. She should’ve learned by now. I_ _was_   _stronger. I kn_ _e_ _w better. What I d_ _id_ _wa_ _s all for her, for her to be happy. I disguised myself, and went to Snow’s save haven. She was there all alone, smiling, baking, as if she didn’t do anything wrong at all. It irritate_ _d_ _me. I tried to hide that as I went to the house. She didn’t recognize me. Stupid girl. I offered her an apple. She refused at first, but who could deny an old lady? She reluctantly accept_ _ed_ _it, and as soon as she t_ _ook_ _a bite, she choke_ _d_ _as the apple was to cut of your air circulation. Her eyes rolled back as she drops. My lips curled into a smile as I saw her lying_ _on the ground.  
If you want something right, you have to do it yourself._

 _Hugh stared at me when I got back. I sized up to him, telling him what I did. He stood there, expressionless. I didn’t see fear, disgust, or judgment. At that moment, it jerked me. I shouted at him to say something. Say it was wrong. Show disappointment. Say he hate_ _d_ _me. His expression morphed and I finally saw something. Pity._

_“Who are you really doing this for?”_

_“The girl”_

_He shook his head, saying a short “you’re not” before walking away._

_I sat on my bed, replaying his words in my head. What does he mean I’m not? Everything I d_ _id wa_ _s for the girl, for her to be safe. From day_ _one_ _, my sole purpose was to protect her. That was the very reason of my existence. The_ only  _thing I do! What does he know about who I was doing this for? I wanted to hate him, but I couldn’t. Despite saying that, there was no venom in his words. Despite today, he’s the only one who s_ _aw_ _me as me. He didn’t see all the bad sides of me, despite constantly showing them knowing he would realize and leave one day. But he d_ _id_ _n’t. He saw passed it and saw me as a person. He saw me and that girl separately. He knows which is currently conscious in one gaze. He’s dangerous, I realize_ _d_ _. I c_ _ould_ _n’t let down my walls. I c_ _ould_ _n’t do the same mistake the girl_ _had_ _made._

 

\---------------

 

I woke up in tears. I knew it wasn’t a dream. I  _kn_ _e_ _w_. Raven found out Snow was alive. I was relieved, but then Raven became angry and took matters into her own hands. I couldn’t stop her. I was weak, as always. Flashes of Snow dropped unconscious went through my mind. That was it; Snow White was dead, for good. Hugh came in and he comforted me.

“I can’t- I can’t control her” I sobbed.

Raven was getting stronger. I felt she was absorbing my very existence. If I gave in, I knew I would disappear. She said it was all so I could be safe, when she’s the only reason left I was scared. The reason I was struggling. Each day and night, I got worse. I wouldn’t see myself in the mirror. Everytime, it changed into her. Bags under my eyes, as I struggled to even hold myself up. I would start giving up, but Hugh would always be there, telling me to hold on.

“Why are you helping me?” I askedone day “Don’t you prefer Raven?”

“She’s not healthy,” he muttered

Raven’s not healthy. It was true. She’s corrupted. She needed help. She wasn’t far different from me, I realized. Through all the hits I got in the past, Raven also went through it. She needed help, like I did. Hugh knewthat, and I realizedthe only thing that couldstop her was me. The one, who was giving her power, was me. By helping me, he was helping Raven. I started to fight back. So Raven could get better.

I started to try to live again.

For Raven.

 

\---------------

_The girl was fighting back again. She was trying so hard to take control. She’s hurting herself; I couldn’t bear to watch it. She thinks she’s helping me. But she’s not. And Hugh. Filling the girl’s thoughts with that logic. They both are just hurting themselves. Hugh thinks he knows how to help, well he doesn’t. No one can help me. Only I can. He say_ _id_ _I_ _was_ _hurting the girl, but the girl was safer inside me._

_Hugh came to the throne room one day. His eyes, they were filled with guilt as he croaked out “Stop. Please”_

_I stared at him. I refused. It was better this way, the world did nothing but hurt the girl. She was better inside. I told him to go away. I didn’t need him. I didn’t need anybody. Then suddenly, Snow came in, with a boy, about the same age as her. Oh great, she’s got herself a prince. I demanded why she was here and not dead._

_“You should make sure if I actually swallowed the apple or not”_

_I was raged, I tried to summon fire but I felt the girl hold back. I tried again, but the girl fought harder. I fell on my knees as I felt my mind torn in two_

_“Why did you try to kill me?” I heard Snow shout_

_“You called her a monster!” I found myself answering “You’re just the same as everyone! Everyone that hurt her!”_

_“I did not call her a monster!”_

_“Liar-“_

_“I called you a monster!” Snow raised her voice. I saw her face-hardened “You. You’re the one who killed my father! I shouted at you to go away! Because you were hurting her!”_

_The girl was feeling something. Warmth spread trough her heart; my heart. Snow began to tell how she knew. How she would notice the changes, when they spent time together. The girl was fighting harder, and it weakened me. I can’t let that happen. I’m the stronger one. I’m supposed to protect her._

_“Stop!” I gritted. I tried to summon my powers, but the girl was already taking half control “I’m supposed to protect her! Not you!”_

_“Raven can’t you see?” Hugh said. He’s always been calm and always sounded so sure, but this time, I heard his voice waver. “You said you don’t want to hurt her. You think you’re protecting her, but you’re not. You’re hurting her. You’re hurting yourself”_

_My mind felt like exploding. My vision would flicker to black. I tried hard to stay conscious, but the girl was succeeding. Her thoughts and my thoughts mashed. The harder I fought, the harder she fought. I was stronger. I reminded myself_ _:_ _I was stronger. I tried to block the girl out but then she screamed. The scream I hadn’t heard since she was fourteen. The scream when she was abused. Hurt. My eyes widened. I stopped fighting and instead I tried to call the girl, just like how the girl called me all these time. I closed my eyes as I began to feel light weighted. The sound of Hugh and Snow shouting as the last thing I heard._

_Soon enough I was back in the dark room. Across me, was the girl. Sitting there, so fragile, and shaken, and weak._

_“I’m hurting you” I said_

_The girl stared at me, her lips parted as if she wanted to say something. When she didn’t_ _,_ _I repeated, “I’m hurting you”_

_This wasn’t what I wanted. I just got so used to having everyone as an enemy… All these years, the girl was peaceful, safe, and I ruined that. What had I become?_

_Fear came over me as I back away. All this time, I was trying to protect her from everyone outside, when I was the one she should be protected from. The girl was happy. I had done my job. I shouldn’t have been here anymore._

_Sharing an eye contact with the girl, I decided it was time to go. I had always been awake, ready to fight. Now I c_ _ould_ _sleep, the girl was safe, and I was tired._

_“I’m sorry”_

_There was soft call for my name. The girl. I felt her touch my hand, but I fell into slumber._

 

\---------------

 

The blinding light welcomed me as I woke. All my life, I only truly had Raven, so when I woke up seeing a soft smile of a little girl, who I babied when I first stepped in this castle, the feeling was foreign. Different. My chest felt warm, and I felt a smile appearing on my face.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” I sat up. I took a good look at Snow. She changed so much. She wasn’t a child anymore. She was a wise and beautiful woman. “You’re back”

“I am,” she smiled “I’m sorry. I called Raven a monster. I was a child, I didn’t-”

“Raven got over that,” I reassured her “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hold Raven back-“

“I got over that”

Snow and I shared eye contact before sharing a giggle

Raven. I couldn’t feel her presence like I used to. I looked in the mirror and see myself. I kept staring at it, and it would still be me.

Hugh was standing alone on my balcony staring into the horizon

“Miss her?”

He jumped as I took my place beside him, “You’re supposed to be in bed”

I smiled, “I’m fine. But you’re not”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Raven was merely a subconscious you made to make you feel save”

My smile wavered, “You don’t mean that”

Hugh looked away, “You’re right. I don’t,” he agreed

“She’s still in there, you know. Somewhere”

The corner of Hugh’s lips turned upwards.

Raven _was_ still in there somewhere, but at the same time, I knew she was gone. Maybe she’s not gone for good. Maybe one day, I would look into the mirror and see her stormy eyes staring back at me, or I would fall asleep and she would wake up the next morning. Even if that was unlikely, I was in peace now. I realize that. I had Snow, and even her prince. I had Hugh.

Raven used to be my pillar, now it’s them.

Raven might come back someday, maybe. But for now, it was just me.

 


End file.
